Family Man (Music Video)

We were just here
for five minutes! - Phil, I got this.
- ( Sighs ) Fine. Hi, Officer Murphy, is it? As soon as we parked, I said to myself, Beth, you better make a mental note
of what's happening right now. Why is this--
This isn't even
the one I wanted! Phil:
This is your fault, Beth! - Inspiring.
- Absolutely. All the stress that she deals
with on a daily basis, yet she still maintains
grace and dignity.

It's like Zen without
the pretentiousness. I'm usually a sucker
for pretentiousness. Oh no, I thought you was
talking about the dad. This! See, and now you! That guy? Link:
Yeah, there's just
something about him.

I can't quite put
my finger on it, but it calls to me. Link, what you got right there
is a quintessential family man. Man:
Gotta be kidding me! There's no way
anybody could ever-- How would this be
with, with the-- No, no, no, no! No, no!
This is my car.  I'm tied down   I'm locked up   I don't make
independent decisions   But my wife says
that I don't miss it   My old friends   They don't call   In fact, this weekend
they're riding ski-doos   While I'm taking my kids
to three zoos   But the third zoo
isn't exactly a zoo   It's a family counselor
dressed like a raccoon   I'm a family man   Living according
to a family plan   I just found somebody's feces
on my hand   I grab a towel
that's monogrammed   'Cause I'm a family man   I don't have a dream job   I bust my butt everyday
from 9 to 5   To finance the dreams
of my kids and wife   And my wife has
a business idea   She wants to sell these
teeny-tiny hats   Made especially
for little baby cats   Notice that
I didn't say kitten   My wife says that a baby cat
is something different   I'm a family man   We all don't fit in a sedan   My last child, that spawn
of Satan, was unplanned   Please cut my vas deferens   I'm a family man   I'm a family man.

How does that sound? I think I found my calling. I want to be a family man. Link:<i>
Thanks for watching.</I> <i> To watch our show,
"Rhett and Link's Buddy System"</i> <i>where this music video is from,
click the video on the left.</I>  Rhett:<i>
And to watch our daily show,
"Good Mythical Morning,"</i> <i> stick around,
because we've got a game</i> <i> about all those contestants
names Lauren on "The Bachelor."</I>.