>> DOCTOR: You have a cold?
>> RUDY MANCUSO: No. >> DOCTOR: Danger?
>> RUDY MANCUSO: No. >> DOCTOR: Sex with a random stranger?
>> RUDY MANCUSO: No. >> DOCTOR: Let me if you please cure any disease.
>> RUDY MANCUSO: Uh... >> DOCTOR: Except for herpes. I can't do anything about herpes. >> RUDY MANCUSO: I'm...I'm just here for my physical.
>> DOCTOR: If you want to move along, well then you have to sing this song. Come on! Try to hit this pitch and please stop acting like a [BLEEP]! >> RUDY MANCUSO: I'm not going to sing right now. >> DOCTOR: [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP]. >> RUDY MANCUSO: Can we just do this physical? >> DOCTOR: As long as you stay musical.
>> RUDY MANCUSO: Okay fine, just get me through this [BLEEP]. >> DOCTOR: Alright, I promise I won't call you a [BLEEP].
>> RUDY MANCUSO: Don't call me a [BLEEP]. >> RUDY MANCUSO & DOCTOR: [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP]. B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP].
>> DOCTOR: It says here that you drink and smoke. >> RUDY MANCUSO: It's better than taking pills or sniffing coke. >> DOCTOR: If I were you man, then I would stay drug free. >> RUDY MANCUSO: Well you're not me, so chill.
>> DOCTOR: Still sober is the way to go. >> RUDY MANCUSO: How would you know? >> DOCTOR: I used to party hard long ago. >> RUDY MANCUSO: Sounds dope. >> DOCTOR: Trust me, you have no idea how many freaking ragers that I used to throw.
>> RUDY MANCUSO: Is there something that I need to know? >> DOCTOR: Just please don't drink and smoke. >> RUDY MANCUSO: It's better than doing coke. >> DOCTOR: Make me tell your folks. >> RUDY MANCUSO: My dad would have stroke.
>> DOCTOR: Please just try to be a responsible guy!
>> RUDY MANCUSO: Be a responsible guy! >> DOCTOR: I used to know a girl named Jane. She loved to party and she loves cocaine. She did so much, she ended up insane. >> RUDY MANCUSO: Such a shame.
I'm sorry man that really sucks. >> DOCTOR: Just promise me you won't do drugs. >> RUDY MANCUSO: I can't make those promises, but I'll stay away from cocaine.
>> DOCTOR: From cocaine. >> RUDY MANCUSO & DOCTOR: I'll stay away from cocaine, cocaine, cocaine, cocaine, cocaine, cocaine, cocaine, cocaine, cocaine, cocaine, cocaine, cocaine, cocaine.
Co-co-co-co-coaine. >> DOCTOR: So what's good my man, you've been [BLEEP]? >> RUDY MANCUSO: What?
>> DOCTOR: A young man like you, bet you're always getting lucky. You wear protection? >> RUDY MANCUSO: I mean...
>> DOCTOR: To cover your erection. >> RUDY MANCUSO: Uh...
>> DOCTOR: Do you hit it raw? >> RUDY MANCUSO: Raw? >> DOCTOR: That's a medical term for no condom at all. It must be nice being young and slinging your dick. Let me ask you something brother, do you got a chick? Do you stay up all night making sweet sweet love? Girls? Boys? Or all of the above? >> RUDY MANCUSO: Yeah, I got a girl man. What the hell is this? Asking what we do in bed man, that's none of your business.
>> DOCTOR: I swear to God I'm not a perv at all. It's just part of my job to inspect your balls. Just breathe in deep and give me a cough. One more time and I'll let you off.
>> RUDY MANCUSO: Can you, uh... >> RUDY MANCUSO: Stop touching my balls now.
>> DOCTOR: Yeah, of course. >> RUDY MANCUSO: Alright, thanks. >> DOCTOR: I told you sport, see that wasn't so bad.
I'm sorry for my cold hands that touched your nads. >> RUDY MANCUSO: Nah. Thank you doc. See I already feel super.
I'm sorry if I acted like a real [BLEEP] pooper. >> RUDY MANCUSO & DOCTOR: If you wanna feel good, well give your doctor a call, he'll make you feel much better and he'll touch your balls. >> DOCTOR: Actually bro, your results just came in. I'm sorry to say this, but you have 2 days to live.
>> RUDY MANCUSO: Wait, what? >> DOCTOR: Yeah, uh...Yeah you're gonna die. Sorry bro..
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